Why I hate New Year's, specifically this one.

Here is what was supposed to happen today or yesterday really. Fly from Newark to Atlanta then Atlanta to Gulfport in plenty of time to rest up before a chill New Year's with roomies, etc.

Now if you've ever talked to me about this wretched holiday, you know I'm not a fan. I feel like there is always too much pressure to have some mind blowing amazing time for a day that is completely arbitrary. I mean New Year's could be celebrated at any time. Still, I was looking forward to this one because it seemed relatively low pressure.

So here's what actually happened today. My flight that was supposed to leave Newark at 2:11 didn't leave until after 3. This worried me since I only had 40 minutes to change planes in Atlanta. I hoped that we would gain time in the air or that my second flight would be delayed as well since there was tons of rain in the south today. Of course this was not the case.

I got to Atlanta and found out that not only had I missed my flight but there were no more possibilities until tomorrow. Then I had to find a hotel. Contrary to popular belief, AirTran did not offer to pay for my room they only offer a number to call for very reduced rates. For a moment I got a little excited thinking I could get a room in downtown Atl. since I've never been here, but of course the only rooms are on the outskirts of town close to the airport.

So after waiting in the rain for 25 minutes I got on a shuttle to the DoubleTree. My spirits were briefly lifted again by all the jovial airline people on my shuttle. I thought maybe they would invite me to hang out with them- sadly not the case as they stick to their own little airline club and I don't know the secret handshake. Ah well, at least there's the lounge at the hotel right?

No. Nothing at the hotel was open tonight so I got pizza delivered. Things have started breaking down here though. I don't know if I got a "reduced" rate room but I don't have movies when it says I should, the phone just beeps at me so I can't call the front desk, the coffee maker is on the fritz, the toilet is backing up and the ice machine down the hall isn't working either. Aside from that it's quite comfortable.

Furthermore, I made the quick decision at the airport to leave my bags there so now I'm in dirty clothes and missing some essential toiletries.

Despite all this, I'm trying not to get down. I know some people in the hospital tonight or who are working which are much worse situations than mine.

On a lighter note, I promised a BBQ blog. Two weeks ago we stopped at a place called Dick Russell's (I think). Very kitchy with animal heads and stuff on the walls. I've been trying to publish pictures on here but for some reason (because nothing works here) they're not coming up or they'll end up ten times. Anyway, we had a huge plate of butter given to us there, about 8 little cups full. Before we had dug into it, the waitress asked us if we needed more. We said we were all set. Then she asked if we needed more BBQ sauce. Normally this is an automatic yes for me but since I could barely find my pork in the sauce I said I was all set with that too. Hmmm...I wonder how MS got to be the most overweight state?

Overall, not great. I'm looking for more authentic less processed BBQ while I'm here in the South.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had more fun than me.

"It was...soap poisoning!"

Bonus points to anyone who knows what movie that quote is from.

I've been home now for a very busy week. Being home is not as strange as I thought it would be. I easily fell right back into a routine. I think I've managed to see everyone I've ever known sometime this week, which is great but hasn't left much time for personal things. I'm a little worried about all the work ahead when I go back to MS.

Sunday was a great day. At church I gave a presentation on all the work I've been doing this year in an attempt to solicit some donations. I think people were moved over all, I just hope they stay motivated to help.

Tuesday night I had a brief interview with the Session of our church. This is more of a formality than anything, but good practice for me in terms of discussing my faith and calling. In the PC(USA), this is one small step of many on the road to becoming ordained. Still, I'm trying to look at it positively instead of feeling overwhelmed.

But...I am really feeling overwhelmed. There's alot of work ahead, and I'm worried about not remaining completely present while working in MS. For instance, I might become more concerned about applying for scholarships or planning some meetings I have to take care of up here or starting seminary. I'm praying that I'll be able to manage all of this.

In my next post, I want to talk about an awesome BBQ experience we had last week. I have pictures! I just can't seem to get everything working together at the same time.

Lastly, I'm missing MS and my roommates more than I thought I would (they will love to hear this). Not that I thought I wouldn't miss them at all, but I'm just realizing the comfort of a group of people all being on the same page and as much as I sometimes hate that everyone knows everyone else's business, its relieving in a way. There's less explanation needed.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Caroling in Flip Flops

Yesterday I did the craziest thing ever...I went caroling in flip-flops! Its been averaging a balmy 70 to 75 here for the past couple of days so I needed nothing more than a sweater when I went out with Westminster Presbyterian Church last night. We had a very fun time. Luckily my roommate, Sarah Ann went with me because I don't really know a ton of people there, except for kids in the youth group. This can be a challenge for me although I'm getting much better at sticking my hand out to people and saying, "Hi, I'm Brenna." I think this is the way to be friendly here and its not seen as pushy which is how I feel. Anyway, the few of us that are transplants here kept saying how weird it felt to not be caroling in ten layers and begging people for warm drinks. I think I could get used to the warmth though.

Saturday Linda M. and I went to NOLA for a day of shopping on Magazine St. This was a much needed "city" day for me. The weather was awesome and Magazine St. is nice because its not super touristy like Bourbon St. We had lunch at a fabulous Mexican Restaurant called Nacho Mama (what do you call a Mama that's not yours?) with our friends who live in NOLA (see picture above.) We sat outside and drank margaritas. Who could ask for anything better?

Friday night we went to a movie with our bosses. This was good for 3 reasons. 1. The movie was really good. We saw The Pursuit of Happyness and I recommend it to everyone. It was a very good comment on poverty and homelessness and I think was well done in terms of bringing different audiences together. Our theater was probably the most diverse audience I've ever seen.
2. We got to spend time with our bosses outside of work which doesn't happen often. I hope it was a good break for them too.
3. They Paid! For snacks too!

I'm currently struggling with what to tell my congregation when I come home. There's a part of me that wants to be very chipper and share all the places I've seen God (houses being built, lives being changed, etc.). There's also a part of me that wants to be very political and show all the work that needs to be done. This is hard because unless you're here its very difficult to hear all the bad things. I'm praying for wise and moving words.

Here's a funny story. On Friday morning, my roommate, Erin, noticed my tire was low. We set off on a quest to get it fixed and ended up at the tire center at Wal-Mart, as much as this pained me and it hurts to give money to that organization. It was ok though because we were able to get some Christmas shopping done for our bosses at the same time. The funny part though was the woman (yes, woman) processing orders. She had on tight jeans and what looked like a little kid's shirt with a pearl necklace! Who wears a pearl necklace to work at the tire center at Wal-Mart? I just don't get it.

Obviously, as we move through advent, I'm trying to be expectant and hopeful of change here and throughout the world, especially in places of war. I'm trying to see where the light is shining in the darkest of places...hopefully its shining in me.

3 more wake-ups Mommy!

Moonshine Bust in Hancock County

This was the headline of the local paper two days ago. You'll be happy to know I live in Harrison county, the next county over- much classier. Apparently this guy was distilling whiskey in his backyard at like 90 proof or something crazy like that.

Anyway, I have been SUPER busy this week. Last weekend I helped out at Westminster Presbyterian Church with their youth group. WPC is much bigger and much more active than Handsboro than where I've been living and I've been helping out a little when I can. They did a youth led service this weekend which was interesting for me. I think it was an early glimpse of what the life of a pastor can be like because I didn't really feel like I got to worship since I knew what was coming and was intent on things running right. Hmm...

On Sunday I went to my first African-American Baptist service. It was a music special and I went to see one of the kids in Andy's Club. For those who don't understand why this would be such a big deal to me, there is generally no clapping in a traditional presbyterian service nor is there a lot of emotion. I wasn't really uncomfortable though but I started to understand why if that's where you come from, a Presbyterian service could be just as awkward feeling. For me it was great fun though!

We sadly lost one of our team mates this week. My co-worker D left his post at Orange Grove on Monday. We're all praying that this will be the right decision for him and that he'll be able to work out whatever he needs to. For those of you on the outside, there's no easy way to explain how subtely draining this work is to all of us and so if you're at all dealing with anything else it can be really hard.

Yesterday was the most chaotic holiday kids party ever. We had ribs and shrimp and running around. It was awesome and there was new kids but I'm exhausted today.

In ordination news, I'm beginning to understand the hoops of fire I must jump through to become a pastor. I have an interview with session when I come home and another with the Presbytery later in the year. Can you feel my anxiety?

Ok I need to run, I want to write more but no time. Send me love and Christmas cards!

One more thing...

I just found this link on my roommie Erin's blog. Its for the Boys and Girls Club down here and expresses alot of what the people are going through. I'll say what Erin said on her blog which is I don't in any way work for this organization but it is a great account of what's happening here for those of you far away.

http://www.bgcgulfcoast.org/index.asp

She's Got Style, She's Got Grace, She's a Winner

So I think I jinxed myself in the last blog by saying how much I was enjoying working with the kids. I definitely didn't this week. I was alone on Tuesday with no help and found out that one kid has been lying to me, his grandma, and his teacher about homework. So we're working on that. Being somewhat of a nerdy kid in my day, I don't understand how it takes 45 minutes to copy 5 definitions. He's definitely not incapable since he gets A's on tests, he just can't do that sort of thing, I think he's too creative (his teacher said lazy, which I think is harsh especially since her homework is boring and uncreative). In all these conversations I'm constantly affirming myself that I'm capable because I do not like making these sorts of calls. I feel like the teacher would just be like "who's this kid to ask me about my work?"

A really amazing thing happened on Wednesday this week. I went to have a meeting with Pastor Scott. Here's basically what happened:

B: "Scott, I'm thinking Andy's Club would be too intense to carry on with in the summer. I was thinking vaguely about Vacation Bible School. What do you think?"

PS: "Well, its funny you should mention that. There was a church here in the summer from Iowa that wanted to basically do a VBS for us- write curriculum, send people, the whole deal. But I haven't talked to the guy in a couple months so I don't know what their plans are."

B: "Ok do you have contact info for the pastor?"

Following this there was 5 minutes of Scott looking in drawers and explaining why he didn't have his palm pilot on him.

B: "I'm sure we could just look it up online."

S: "Ok, yeah." He starts looking, finds it, starts reading it to me when his phone rings.

S: "Hello?...Hey!! This is so funny because I have a young woman sitting here who wants to do a VBS and I was telling her about you guys...are you still feeling that way?..." This goes on for a while, he gets dates of the program including when we would need to fly there for an interview. "Ok so all we need to do is get kids and the space ready?...Sounds great...Ok bye. Brenna, were you taking notes?"

Of course I was. This is very exciting since its the first time this church has had anything like that and the first time I'm doing anything close to VBS. Also, its one of the first times something here has been created that easily. God said let there be VBS and it was so.

Its come to my attention that I have people reading the blog that I didn't know were aware of it. I'm going to try to keep it "Style a la Brenna" but I may have to edit some of the crazy.

Also, I am full on MAD about the weather here. Its going to be in the 20s tonight. NOT OK. I guess it won't be as much of a shock to my system when I come home in two weeks.

Lots of love!
B

17 Days and Counting...

As things get increasingly stressful here, I feel like all I can do is hold on to that number which brings me closer and closer to home. A brief list:

-Last week we were told there was no chance of us getting internet where we live since they're moving the office there.

-We found out we're moving. I think this is ultimately good but moving is on my top five most stressful things list. Also, we don't know where we're moving, hopefully close by but that's not for sure.

-Two of my roommates have talked about leaving. This is NOT good.

-There is still no heat upstairs in our cinderblock uninsulated rooms and we are relying on tons of blankets and one small spaceheater. If any of you know me, you know I would always rather be hot and in general abhor the cold, hence the move to MS which is not turning out how I expected since this weekend it was 20 degrees warmer at home than it was here. Sigh.

- I've realized my weakness in community living. I remember Lauren calling me a "Lone Wolf" once and I'm finding that to be very true. I like making decisions independently and don't need everyone to know all my business and don't feel a need to know theirs. This wouldn't be stressful if not for the fact that I'm not sure that this fits a pastor's life. I guess what it comes down to is I don't mind listening to people's problems if it doesn't directly concern me? I'm not sure. I need to work on this some more.

- I'm getting involved a ton with the community theatre here. I will be the Assistant to the Directors (not to be confused with Assistant Director for those of you that watch The Office) for the spring kids show. This required a meeting though last week where we heard alot of trepidation over doing the show Godspell with kids. Some are afraid it would be offensive or misunderstood or whatever and they wouldn't get the usual sell-out crowds. Despite my protests of separating art from content and acknowledging that kids can be challenged and don't always need "cutesy", we're changing the show probably to Fiddler on the Roof. I know, not at all cutesy or uncontroversal and extremely uncomfortable since I don't know what the Judaic knowledge is here, but luckily there are probably no Jewish people in Gulfport to protest.

-Also, because I am "in" now so to speak with the BigWigs at the theatre, I'm hearing rumors that the show I'm in, "Guys and Dolls" might be canceled because we don't have enough men or a vocal director. This makes me really sad partly because I really wanted to do it and partly because there's already been so much time put into it.

Despite these things, I'm having some amazing God breakthroughs, mostly in my surprise relationships with other people. This weekend we went on a retreat in northern MS. Part of the time was spent in silence. So I thought, ok here we go some good one-on-one time with God, but then nothing very special happened. I thought, "Ok I am silence-defective and will be the worst minister in the world." After though, my friend, Sue and I had a great one-on-one about some things we had been struggling with (this I definitely didn't mind so maybe I'm not so Lone Wolf? I can't tell). In this, we swapped nephew stories. She's had an eerily similar situation to my Owen story and it was really good to talk about that with someone who had been in the same spot. Here is where I felt God, in the way someone could open up to me and I to them. It was great.

I'm also feeling blessed to be in the presence of Tony and Claire, a retired couple volunteering here for a couple months. They are HILARIOUS and very warm, loving people. Claire's been a big help at Andy's Club and I don't know what I'll do when they leave.

Then there's my kids. I think they are really pulling me through right now. I really look forward to every day we have program and would like to think the kids are making strides. One child, Khalil who gave me some trouble at the beginning can be kept happily occupied by projects that require building or arranging. So last week I told him to organize the little closet room we use to house our stuff. After about an hour he makes an announcement and pulls me over to the closed door, makes me close my eyes, then opens the door with a big smile. And the room looked great! Much better than if I had done it myself. I hope this gives him something to be proud of.

In the spirit of Christmas, I've been thinking alot of the shepherds blindly following the star. I feel sort of like that. I can see the hill in front of me, but not what's beyond it.

Lots of love.

Thankful

In the past few days, I have been thankful for many things. Here are as many as I can remember.

Having a safe structure in which to live, beautiful weather, the preservation of history, two filling Thanksgiving meals (when some people have none), Tom Teel's Gumbo and the amazing fellowship that followed, feeling like an adult, feeling like a child, my family and their heavy Jersey accents (that you don't realize they have until they pass around the phone at their Jersey gathering while you're cooking in a church kitchen in Mississippi), naps, friends who "get" me and yet are still my friends, strong women in my life, secrets, hearing from people out of the blue, non-stop Christmas music, TV shows on DVD, knowing that I am going home in less than a month, laughter (mostly at my expense), my car, the ability to cry, peace, working technology, my 11th drink free at PJs coffee shop, knowing that I have someplace to go at the end of this year, the tackiness of Christmas, God and all things bigger than me that I don't understand and don't wish to understand, children, a healthy body, and knowing that I have everything I need.

Happy Holidays!

How I sold my soul to the Gulfport Little Theatre and other stories.

So I thought I had a production meeting at GLT last night for Godspell, but when I got there (after frantically and extremely rudely running out of an early Thanksgiving dinner) there was no one there. I scratched my head, consulted my planner and went home. When I called the director Miss Pope, she informed me that the times had been changed and since everyone sees everyone there all the time anyway, she forgot to call me. The cool thing about Miss Pope is she's what I want to be when I grow up...no not when I grow up, when I'm old. I can't wait to find out her history as I'm sure she was an extra in some Olivier play or one of the original Follies, you know the type. Anyway, after a long talk on the phone, I think I may have unofficially been handed a producer-like position on this show. Mind you I'm already acting in another show and working full time. Sigh. To quote Oklahoma, I'm just a girl who cain't say no.

Also, on Sunday I volunteered to make costumes for a youth run service at Westminster Presbyterian Church. I don't know where that came from. Somewhere the logic in me should have piped up and said "Hey, remember when you tried to sew that pillow? Right." Luckily there are lots of thrift shops around.

I had lunch yesterday with Sally-Lodge, my favorite Southern Woman pastor. Maybe she's what I want to be when I grow up. I've talked about her before, but I feel like there's no way to capture her essence in writing. Some of my favorite quotes from yesterday- "Eat some pumpkin pie. You need to keep your strength up." and talking about how she looks when she's preaching "a marshmallow with a belt on."

It might be hard to believe, but my room has been FREEZING the past couple of nights. Its been below freezing at night but then warm during the day, leading to some hilarious situations where I look ridiculous with a full coat and hat, scarf, mittens on. Also, our room isn't insulated, one wall is made of cinderblocks, and the windows aren't weatherproofed. Now the fear is the space heater might burn down the church.

I went to the dermatologist this morning somewhat apprehensively, but it was really good. I was relieved that the practice seemed to have been updated since the Civil War and I think the doctor was relieved that I was there only for some mild acne, not any weird growths or mysterious pus. She also didn't judge me at all, which I like.

I extended my at home time so now I'll be in NJ from the morning of the 22nd to Dec 31. My time is already filling up though so call me to book some Brenna time!

I think that was a boring post. If anyone has questions let me know and I can answer them on here.

Success

One time I was asked by a pledge class of my fraternity, Zeta Phi Eta, how I defined success. I believe my answer to be one of the most brilliant things i've ever said. "Success," I said, "is when the child you were at 10 can look at the adult you've become and be proud of that person."

I've been thinking about that a lot because I'm not sure what my 10-year-old self would have to say to my adult self. There might be some disappointment that I am not starring on Broadway and living with a fabulous director in a penthouse on the upper west side. Would my 10-year old self settle for community theatre in Mississippi where Annie is considered one of the greatest dramatic achievements of the 20th century? I don't know. Yet, I would hope that that dreamer in me would find some romance in moving so far from home to save the world through theatre.

All of this comes on the heels of what my adult self considers to be a very successful evening with Andy's Club. We took them on a field trip Friday night to see Annie Jr. at the Gulfport Little Theatre where I've been doing Guys and Dolls. The show was crap as usual (if you know me well, you know I have beef with that show in particular), although the performers were great for kids. The shocker was how great my kids were and how much they loved the experience. While monsters behind us kicked the seats and yelled obnoxious questions, mine sat quietly, only asking questions during the blackouts. A couple of them might audition for the next show they do there, perhaps causing me to become a pseudo stage mom. It was a really great night, one that makes you feel like God in her majesty has made everything come together just right for you.

I have some time off from Andy's Club this week since the kids don't have school. In general its going to be quiet around here. Two of my roommates have gone home along with our bosses and there are no weekly volunteers this week. I plan on being in my pjs most of the time. And although I'll miss my family on Thanksgiving, one thing I'm learning is when you don't have a family on a holiday you get tons of invitations! So far I'm having two dinners- one at 1 and another at 4:30. Maybe it won't be so bad to be away from home!

Love and blessings!

“Look…”

I begin this post with the word “Look” for several reasons. Firstly, I’ve heard it A LOT from one volunteer that I’ve been working with this week. At times I enjoy a statement that begins with “Look” because it implies a clear-cut, no BS statement is about to be said. For instance, “Look, I know we have different standards of cleanliness, but it is not acceptable to leave half-full coffee mugs lying around for three days.” To me this is preferable to something wishy-washy or sugarcoated. This volunteer, M, has been explaining things to me in this way all week. I wonder though if she is really looking. Let me explain.

In her assistance with Andy’s Club this week, I’m learning that she is a “diagnoser”. Without knowing the kids or their back stories, she’s been making sweeping generalizations, such as “Look, this one needs glasses” or “Look, its clear to me that this one’s mother is on the same reading level she is” or “Look, obviously his parents read to him and spend time with him.” Well, no one else has noticed a vision problem with that one, that one is 6 and one of 3 in a family of very diverse strengths and interests, and the last one’s parents are dead.

So this gets me to wondering. The way looking is supposed to work is that we see something, take in the information, and then our brain interprets it. At times though, I think we interpret first and look for visions that meet that interpretation.

I’m trying to be very cognizant of that as we work through some difficult work things here. I realize that I am not omniscient, that there are things going on that I am unaware of. I’m trying hard not to look for things that would match what I think is going on, and at the same time holding others accountable to their interpretations of me and how I spend my days.

In the same way, I’m embracing my ignorance of God’s plan. I’ve been questioning myself a lot lately, one of the reasons being I feel that many other people could be doing my job and I KNOW that several others were offered the position. Through various circumstances though, I ended up with it and I’m not sure what to do with the new information. I came here feeling like I was specifically chosen for this position, but now feel like I got it by default. I wonder if they would have fought for me if I hadn’t been so excited. Then it’s a question of if those who didn’t take are like “Well, I’m glad Brenna took it so I can do more important things and she’s fine, I guess to do it.” I don’t really believe these are the thought processes occurring, but my low self-esteem takes over sometimes.

In fun news, I think the best part of my week was when one of my kids J and I sang CCR together on the way home.

I’m also having a blast doing Guys and Dolls mostly because it’s other people’s drama and there’s so much grabbing for attention. I love being a sort of fly on the wall and just watching everything.
Lots of love!

Princeton, here I come!

So in the midst of a truly crappy week, I have just received my acceptance letter to Princeton Seminary. I was talking to my Mom on the phone while sitting alone in a cafe, so I had no one to hug or jump up and down with. This is so exciting and I am ridiculously euphoric right now. It is such an affirmation to my call and I am so glad to be returning home next year. I also feel like no matter how bad things get here, there is an amazing light at the end of the tunnel. Lots of thanks for all the love and support I've received throughout this process.

Really quick before the battery on my laptop dies as I am not plugged in because I have moved into the wifi cafe because our internet is still not working...

In the past 24 hours I...

-Witnessed my first bar fight at a Chili's
-Felt and continue to feel completely inadequate to handle children
-Was accused of breaking the internet that hasn't been working for two weeks.
- Started reading a book that might change my life.
- Was told that the weekly volunteers are more important than me.
- May have caused a man to go to jail because I cannot be all things to all people.
-Remembered why I have the best family in the world despite our disfunction.
-Remembered why I have the best roommates (and this word feels cold to me) in the world despite our disfunction.
-Had the worst piece of cheesecake I've ever eaten.
-Almost got in my car and drove home.
-Wondered why I didn't take a job with a starting salary of $50,000 teaching theatre to rich kids in NJ.
-Questioned my place in the world.
-Made a child cry.
-Made a child laugh.
-Heard that Sam had his first time-out. Not OK.
-Felt God but then wondered if She left.

Yeah, I say water weird. So what?

Another challenging week. Should I be surprised at this point? On Thursday we had nine kids at Andy's Club. A record! I quickly remembered though how challenging kids can be. There was so much showing off it was out of control, but by the end of the day it was like we had all known each other forever. One child, we'll call him J, may prove to be a special challenge for me from God. On our registration form we have a spot for parents to let me know if anything out of the ordinary has happened recently in the life of the child such as divorce, moving, death in family, etc. I knew J lived with his Grandma, but that's not especially strange in MS post-Katrina. When I got a chance to read his paper though, I learned the whole story. Three years ago, when J was probably 8 or so, his father murdered his mother then committed suicide- all in front of J. As a result, he moved to MS with his Grandma. Then they lost their house in the hurricane. Furthermore, although J's Grandma didn't specifically note this, I'm assuming there was physical or substance abuse present in the home before the deaths. Those things don't come out of nowhere. I feel completely useless to this child. It seems like he needs more than glitter glue and improv games, which he may be receiving, I don't know. And yet, God has put him in front of me. Hmm...

In much more selfish news, the internet has been down here all week. Every time they move around the office, something is sacrificed. One time it was the voice mail, one time the printer connection, this time the internet. We've been going to wifi cafes and thinking of turning in our receipts to have the Presbytery of Mississippi pay for our Chai Tea...A large with whip cream...and a croissant. I am a slave to the internet. Not being a big phone person, I'm falling completely behind with e-mailing. The only way I'm typing this now is because I actually broke into the office here to do some work. That's right broke in because we haven't gotten keys yet which is due to trust or disorganization, I don't really know.

I wanted to mention too that I was really excited that Sue asked me to be her accountability partner (I hope she's reading!). We were asked to pick A.P.s this week at the big meeting in New Orleans, the purpose being a weekly or more check in with one person that you don't live with about community, work, spirituality, etc. Because I had to leave the meeting early, I was really afraid that I would be like the last kid picked for kickball, but Sue called and asked and I was really happy. For those of you who don't know Sue, she is fabulous and bitter and a feminist and tells it like it is. Just like me! We've also had some similar life experiences that I think will make us good partners.

Last night was one of those blessings that comes out of the blue. My former pastor, Harold, had contacted me last weekend because he was coming for a volunteer work week in Bay St. Louis, MS- about 40 minutes from here. He came with the Morristown church who are wonderful people as I learned. I had dinner with them last night, did a lot of networking, had some good theological talk, and worshipped with them. This was the best. I've forgotten the high you experience here as a weekly volunteer. There is so much intensity packed into one week. It was just so wonderful to see a familiar face, especially one that I've known my whole life, and talk about home things. While I'm not feeling homesick, I certainly miss home and I think I am drawing comfort from the knowledge that I'll be back and hopefully settled there next year. I think I will always want to travel, perhaps for even months at a time, but I don't want to live anywhere else...
... which is one of the reasons I really hope that the divine plan is for me to go to Princeton. If you don't know, I'm currently in that awful waiting for a decision period. It should be coming sometime soon, like within a few weeks. Luckily, I have tons to keep my mind occupied with and I realized something in talking with the assoc. pastor from Morristown last night. Unlike undergrad where if you didn't get in you felt dumb or not well spoken or not well rounded, I honestly feel that wherever I get in is where I belong. I have complete faith in the process. I just pray its not traumatic, and I really don't want to fill out any more applications.

I'm not sure who all's reading this at this point, but if there is anyone interested in making a sizeable donation, we could use a computer for the after-school program. Nothing fancy, just something to run reading software off of and for the kids to learn basic skills. Let me know if you have a lead!

A crab, an angel and a ghost walk into a bar...Or Drive-Thru Nation.

There are Drive-Thrus for just about everything in MS. Aside from the fact that most of the eateries are fast food, the cleaners and post office also offer a drive-thru. While this undoubtedly accounts for the fact that MS is the most obese state in the nation, I thought it might serve as an allegory for the human state as well. In life, we want to place our orders clearly, preferably to someone we don't need to make eye contact with. Its helpful if our orders have a number, there's less room for error that way. We get frustrated if we have to repeat ourselves. Then there is the waiting, but even in the longest of lines, its ok because we can see the ending- the window. We deal with the waiting because we are in our comfy boxes, safe and sound. Exhibiting no physical effort to obtain our desires, we have our money in hand ready to exchange it for a neat bag containing the answers to our orders, but don't we get frustrated when its wrong! I said barbecue sauce! But its too late, I've already driven away and I can't go back because I'm late already and oh well I'll just have to make due we say to ourselves as we look disdainfully at the chicken nuggets that only moments ago were the answers we were looking for. Now they're just what we'll "make due" with. Then, the last phase of the drive-thru: the guilt. If only I had walked inside I would have at least made a little room on my ass for the fries I am now hungrily eating without enjoying. That same five dollars could have bought two gallons of gas or a cup of coffee or food for one of Sally Struthers' orphans. Where there was once hope, there is now guilt and compromise and emptiness. So I think what I am getting at is that faith does not go through the drive thru. Faith makes time to pull its ass out of the car and goes inside to meet to God, unafraid of making contact with another living thing and waiting to get something really satisfying because God in his wisdom and love knows just what we need.

This is not to say that I don't take the drive-thru of life many times during the day. In fact I am struggling most with expectations and time here. This isn't what I ordered! The dream isn't happening fast enough or smoothly enough. Yet piece by piece my order is coming together. We have the potential of having up to ten kids in Andy's Club by the end of the week. We're getting a van. I met and may be mentored by the first ordained woman in the state of Mississippi. God is giving me all the barbecue sauce I need.

I had intended for this blog to be a recap of the weekends events with all its ups and downs and halloween shenanigans but I'm tired and need to get up early to give breakfast to day laborers. I will say that I wore the above crab hat all around Gulfport last night. It was pretty amazing.

Lots of love!

In my quest to be more Christ-like, I accept that Jesus would not desire to punch a volunteer in the face.

Yesterday was a complete emotional roller-coaster all the way around. I had a really great, focused meeting with Pastor Scott here and as a result I'm going to start putting together some resources for the homeless folks that come through here (yes, I've started using the word "folks"). Then we got lots of phone interest in Andy's Club. I guess the flyers are being distributed finally at schools. Of the 3 parents calling for information, 1 followed through and signed her two daughters up! So our count right now stands at 5 with the potential for more if the other parents sign their kids up next week. Yay!

I got really emotional though randomly in the middle of the day. Owen's memorial service at the hospital was Wednesday night and I'm always upset when I can't go. He helps me to keep things in perspective. When I remember how hard he fought to live, I know I can fight to just work and make this a functioning situation. I've actually been writing this post in two sections. The second, now, coming after a 3 and a half hour meeting with all of our leadership about what we can do to make things really work here. So there are a lot of emotions on top of personal baggage and blech, now I'm just rambling and digressing.

Why did I almost punch a volunteer you might be asking? Because he was all up in my biznass and wouldn't give me 5 minutes to just print a stinkin' calendar. When I informed him I needed the computer for my JOB and it would just be literally 5 minutes if he would just stop questioning and judging my actions and let me do it, he said that, well, he really needed it because he was leaving for LA and he was the only one who could do what he was doing, which I guess was fixing all the network issues. I cannot handle people who feel their work is more important than anyone else's, especially volunteers who yes are here to help but should not be getting in the way! Ugh. It was intense.

Riding the roller coaster back up, I got a part in Guys and Dolls! Not the part I wanted most, but still exciting. I guess I'm just chorus but the director made it seem more glamorous. I cannot wait to get out of the church and have another community to be involved in. I haven't done a musical in a while, so I'm really looking forward to it.

Finally, I spent some of today looking for valuable Thanksgiving activities that aren't a hand turkey or some ridiculous Native American holding corn collage. But apparently there aren't any. The same Thanksgiving myth is on every web page, not including the fact that if we're being honest, smallpox blankets should be included in our construction paper cornucopias. I guess I will just do something that will really focus on what are we Thankful for and how things are different for these kids this year.

Any suggestions?

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard.

I just got out of a two and a half hour meeting with my teammates addressing the fact that the Disaster Recovery office is essentially crumbling around us. Tons of people at different churches and volunteer sites are planning on or have already left, our bosses seem to have a hard time giving direction, there are no resources, and we are finding that the expectations we had coming down here in no way meet the reality of the situation. For example, we were told there would be no more short-term volunteers at this site after the summer and they have teams scheduled all the way through the winter. We were told that we shouldn't need cars but if we brought personal vehicles they would never be used for work purposes, yet all I drive is my car and I haven't seen a dime of reimbursement for gas. It just seems that while they were excited to get all of us, they weren't really prepared for it. Top that off with one very dramatic personality who is known to blow things out of proportion at times and you have chaos.

I feel that I am faring well in the situation. I basically do my own thing and don't ask for guidance or permission. The flip side of that is, I feel very alone in the work I'm doing. My bosses don't really check in with me so there is no one to bounce ideas off of. I'm trying to discern how much is an honest lack of attention and how much is me just saying "Well I can do it on my own to hell with everyone else."

Other people in the group are REALLY upset. They've been told that they are supposed to do a job but when they try aren't trusted with vehicles or the know-how. Trust was a big word that came up tonight. Our bosses are also in a really stressful place themselves and we're trying to honor and help that situation while also feeling like we're not supposed to be fixing that, they are and that's why they're the bosses.

It's complicated and there is no easy solution and someone's feelings will get hurt.

On the positive, sunny side, Andy's Club (the after-school program) has grown by 50% in just one day...which means we now have 3 kids. Yesterday was a good day, but I sense already some testing of boundaries going on. I'm trying to balance discipline with appeasing them so they continue to come. Whenever things start to feel rocky, I promise pizza and field trips and they love me again.

This weekend we're supposed to visit friends in Houma, Louisiana but there might be too much drama to go. I really want to visit though because the Cajun culture there is supposedly great and fascinating, and delicious.

In rambling other thoughts, I'm realizing that post-college, I'm greatly missing the many different activities I used to be involved in. Not so much the activities themselves, but the diversity in my day. That's why I really hope to do a play or volunteer somewhere outside of this so I can feel like I have a life that isn't 100% in Handsboro. I want to feel like I live in Mississippi not like I live in the church which happens to be in Mississippi.

Lots of Love!

Some images of "Home"

Me with my "Vader" Cup

The room I share with my fabulous roommate, Linda. Its teal and brown and fairly spacious. Yes there is a ladder in the middle of it. Why? I can't remember but it holds all of our make-up and what Linda calls her power tools (hair dryer, straightener, curling iron.) As you can see, I could use some flair for the walls, though. Perhaps some pictures or posters sent from loving friends at home?

This is some of our common room. I chose to photograph the nice couch. You may notice that our "kitchen" is an electrical disaster waiting to happen with a toaster oven, microwave, coffee maker, electric kettle and refrigerator all next to each other.

$15,000 will get you alot of Pizza Parties

Another busy couple of days...The Presbytery meeting was on Thursday and luckily no churches were able to leave. It was a very interesting process for me to observe considering I'm about to enter the craziness. Firstly, it was super old-school, lots of bowties and sweater vests. Secondly, there was strict adhesion to Robert's Rules of Order via a moderator, something I am actually proud of because I feel that it allows room for all opinions. At the heart of the meeting though was the issue of some churches wanting to leave because the issue of homosexual ordination hadn't been settled to their liking. This is where things got interesting. Basically the churches in question were condemning the overall church for not taking a firmer, more conservative stand on the issue saying they were being unconstitutional. However, they seemed to have no problem going against the constitution when it came to property issues. Presbyterian rule says the Presbytery owns the building and the land, not the pastor or congregation. Therefore if they don't want to belong to PCUSA anymore, they can't try to take the property with them. This particular group was conveniently fighting this rule, saying it gave the higher governing bodies more power. In the end, it was decided that the resolution attempting to be passed wasn't specific enough and that committee would have to rewrite it before the next meeting in February, which might be enough time to have things cool down a bit.

Its very sad to me to hear of churches wanting to pull out. I know that I have very specific feelings on the issue and that many others are feeling the complete opposite way. However I feel like we should follow a model presented at the meeting by the Moderator of General Assembly (she's sort of a big deal) who came to hear all the various concerns. She told a story about a couple going through marriage counseling who were told to hold hands every time they fought and that that's what saved the relationship. Hopefully we in the Presbyterian church can hold hands while we're going through this rough patch.

The rest of Thursday was great because we had two whole kids at the after-school program, and they were all about it! There was some questions like, "Um...are we the only ones?" And so we encouraged them to bring friends. Basically, we'll do anything to keep these two kids coming. We've promised them pizza and field trips and parties, basically anything they want.

While I think the girls are excited and want to tell their friends, I also recognize that Thursday to Tuesday is a long time and the process of them telling their friends and the friends telling parents might get a little tricky. Therefore, I spent Friday preparing flyers to get passed out to the 6, yes 6 elementary schools of Gulfport. The first step in this was getting the flyers approved by principals. Well, you would have thought I was passing out the communist manifesto to the kids the way the flyer got scrutinized (although, it wouldn't be terrible for them to read some Marx). A secretary at one school told me she would pass it on to the principal but it might not be approved because they already had an after-school program there so it would be a conflict of interest. Seriously? Because from what I see and have heard of these programs its mostly, I hope no one gets hurt from now until when the parents come to get the kids. There's not really enrichment being offered.

Thursday night was Karaoke at the Gay bar in Biloxi. That's right the Gay bar in Biloxi. I never thought I would have occassion for that combination of words. It was super fun though. We were invited by another volunteer group called Hands-On who go every week apparently.

Last night and today were spent with board games, football and friends. A great combination. I'll give a shout out here to the New Orleans girls who I know are internet stalkers.

Then...I went to an audition. I know, WHAT?? Well I found the real Gulfport Theatre, not the one in Florida, and auditioned today for Guys and Dolls (to be put on the first and second weekends in February- mark your calendars). For those of you who have seen Waiting for Guffman, it was alot like that. While definitely not the most professional bunch, they seemed fun nonetheless and fairly easy going. I think as long as they do a chorus I should at least get into that. I would love to be Adelaide, but I'm afraid my age might be against me since she's supposed to be in her 30s. This is made more awkward by the fact that the youngest man there was probably 40. In fact I had to do a line reading with a 65 year old man basically accusing him of trying to seduce me. VERY uncomfortable, but I think I pulled it off.

More to come. Miss you guys!

If you build it, they will come...or not.

Yesterday was theoretically the first day of the after-school program and Amelia, my co-worker, and I sat and stared at each other until 5 when we decided no one was coming. We thought we had one of the neighborhood girls and perhaps one of her friends, but they didn't show up, after telling us they would definitely be there. I'm actually sort of fine with it because I know these things take time, but I just feel that since I'm sort of alone with this, I'm only ever reporting bad things to everyone else. Then people want to be helpful and offer suggestions which is great, but then I feel alot of self-doubt like all I do is sit around and think all day about how to make this better and why didn't I think of that? I know I am capable of doing this, but for some reason it isn't working. Oh well, faith and patience, faith and patience.

To make myself feel better, I took today off since I worked alot last weekend on the fair, and had an adventure. Thanks to the wonderful guidebook given to me by my brother and sister-in-law, I found Bellingrath Gardens (pictured above). Its the home and gardens of some guy that made a fortune bottling Coke. It was very interesting, but more importantly, lovely to walk around and very tranquil for my soul which needed some reminding that the most beautiful things grow slowly and in cycles. Roses and butterflies (and after-school programs?) come from something small and gross, but hopeful.

After that, I drove into Mobile to see what I could see. There was alot of interesting, beautiful architecture, sort of like if Savannah and New Orleans had a baby, but alot of it seemed abandoned and I'm not sure why. I found an awesome house museum (and those of you who know me really well, know I have a nerdy weakness for old houses, ESPECIALLY Southern ones) with a costumed tour guide. I got a one-on-one tour and so was able to ask lots of questions. It never ceases to amaze me, though, at these places how the issue of slavery is treated. Ann, my guide, kept saying that the family had city slaves which were the upper tier of slaves and were actually treated "quite well, with alot of dignity and respect." I didn't inform Ann that while its true that they may not have been getting beaten everyday, they still were only one-third of a person according to our constitution and while it was probably better for them to be inside rather than working in fields, they had no agency in that decision making process. I just feel like they could say, yes they had slaves and it was terrible but it was status quo, instead of trying to sugarcoat it. All in all, a fun relaxing day, though.

Tomorrow might be intense. We're going to a Presbytery meeting where several churches are expected to leave the denomination. For those of you not familiar with Presbyterian politics, a Presbytery is a governing body of a group of churches, hence I'm working for the Presbytery of Mississippi. This year, PCUSA revisited the issue of homosexuality- namely that ordained ministers must be in a faithful heterosexual relationship or be abstinate. Essentially, no decision was made and everyone just agreed to pray and think on it some more. Instead of being a moderate compromise, this decision only served to make both extremes angry. Therefore, 3 or 4 of the very conservative churches down here are leaving the denomination tomorrow and we're going to the meeting to see how it happens. As someone hoping to work within this system for a living, I'm extremely interested to see how this all happens. I'm not sure if there's any way at this point to save these churches, but I hope so.

Also, is anyone out there? I haven't gotten e-mails in a while! (hint hint, wink wink). G'night.

What a Long, Strange Weekend It's Been

This weekend was intense in many ways. Wednesday and Friday were spent doing more advertising and shopping for the after-school program kick-off fair. Thursday was CPR day, which as boring as it was, definitely feels good to have. We did adult, child and infant all at once, and guess who started to cry practicing on the infant dummy? I just really can't handle the idea of a choking baby.

Friday was weird and autumn like and I started to get sad and needed to call Sam, who can't really talk on the phone. Also, my aunt sent me pictures of the shore house being demolished, and I had a good cry over that.

We learned that night too about some drama going on within the church. First some back info. We needed to put up some signs on our doors just saying "YAV living quarters, please respect our privacy" This was due mainly to the fact that volunteer teams were cutting through our living room to use our laundry room at all times of the day and night. Mind you, even with these signs up, I still had a volunteer walk in on me in my underwear while I was changing my pants. However, now certain members of the church want us to take the signs down because they feel unwelcome and all of a sudden after not caring about this space for almost 10 years, they want our living room for sunday school and bible studies. I personally think they just want to be nosy and possessive. Obviously we are not feeling welcomed by the congregation.

Yesterday, I worked on fair stuff most of the day. This included going all the way to Ocean Springs (about half an hour away) to find out the place we were renting the bounce house from was actually just down the street in Gulfport. Good thing I wasn't too mean to the guy at the first place when he couldn't find our reservation.

I had a really emotionally challenging experience yesterday with a homeless man that came to the church. We've had a lot of homeless people in and out and its always sad because we're not really set up to give them a place to stay. I was completely alone when this man, Jason, came by. Luckily, I was able to get a hold of Pastor Scott and he came right by. After feeding him some soup, we talked to Jason for several hours about all the terrible things he's been through. Basically he's lost everything and has no place to go and no family. I don't know how to deal with these situations, knowing I am so fortunate and have so much. There's so many people like this, that it gets overwhelming at times, and the only thing we can do is listen to them.

Today was the fair and I think it went really well. We had terrible weather, but despite that we had about 15 kids as well as random parents and stuff. The kids were great to watch because the neighborhood kids were mixing in with the church kids. It looks like we'll have a couple kids to start the program off this week with. The situation could obviously be alot better, but its as good as we hoped for to start with. Anyway, I'm looking forward to finally working with kids.

I just got out of a meeting with the Mayor, well ok it wasn't a one-on-one, and I'm very worried for the future of Gulfport. He spoke at a dinner at the church tonight and explained for a half hour his very elaborate plan for the new downtown area which will include tons of cutesy shops and restaurants and be very nice and gentrified. When my roommate, Linda, asked about affordable housing he dodged the question and only said that the guy in charge of affordable housing in BOSTON was also working here. At that point I laughed out loud because really affordable housing in Boston is an oxymoron. He also casually threw out the figure of 80,000 houses in 5 years, even though they've only built 500 in the past year. My math isn't great but I don't think that works.

The rich white people here seem mostly concerned with traffic and parks to walk their dogs in. They should be worried though about affordable housing because who will serve them in their fancy restaurants when everyone below the poverty line has to move?

I'm angry.

In other news, our program made the Sun Herald today (The local Southern MS newspaper.) I don't know what it is about journalists though that make them feel the need to add their own special touch to things. I saw the article the woman from the church sent in and it was NOT what got in the paper, and that was the second time that's happened. Oh well, I guess the main point got across.

We've been handing out flyers around the neighborhood, which has been an interesting time. There seems to be a prevailing idea that any after school program is merely day care, whereas I think, coming from the background I do, I almost always think of an after-school program as something enriching and an extension of learning.

Alot of people have said they wanted to come to the fair and I started to get excited. Then I talked to Pastor Scott who informed me that its sort of a southern thing to be like "Oh yeah I'll definitely check that out" with absolutely no intention of coming. This is somewhat foreign to me as I think in the Northeast we would be like "Get the Hell off my lawn and no way I'm going to your stinkin fair" Only we wouldn't say hell and we wouldn't say stinkin.

The money situation right now is really frustrating for me. In order to get the money for the program I am the director of, I need to go through like five other people and save receipts . Its really frustrating.

I hope my blogs don't come off as all negative. There are really amazing things happening here everyday. I think I see Jesus everyday both helping others and getting helped.

Say prayers that people come to my fair!

This was a really great weekend. Chock full of good times. On Friday night we watched a Gulfport High game where they beat the other team 48 to nothing. You have to love high school football for that kind of score, although the Bears basically did the same thing today. Then we had some late night beach time which was also great, although due to some wrestling, I have a sand-burn mark on my neck that looks very much like a hickie. Definitely an uncomfortable thing to be sporting when you live and work in a church.

Saturday, I went to the Baptist church (one of the millions) to have my car washed by the youth group there. I think I may have made a contact, their leaders seemed interested in having their kids volunteer for the after-school program. But then I looked super shady because I forgot my wallet and had to walk back to the church to get some cash for a donation. Oh well, I think they trusted me. I also went to a marching band competition which made me nostalgic for high school, but so glad to be done with and far away from that part of my life.

I began to feel, speaking of feelings, really homesick for Boston. First, during an amazing nap, I had a dream that I was walking around Boston in the morning, there was perfect autumn weather, and then I randomly bumped into my Zeta buddy, Bethany and we went out for Breakfast. Secondly, we saw the movie The Departed last night (sooooo good by the way) which was filmed in Boston, really close to places I used to live. Finally, we went to a sports bar this afternoon to watch the Skins/Giants game (my roommate is a huge skins fan) and the Pats game was on as well. It seemed like all the commentators had to say was what a nice day it was in Foxboro. Of course I move away and there is finally a nice day there.

On a side note, could Shockey be more embarrassing for New York? He's so gross and unpleasant looking.

A funny thing happened on our way back in from the movie on Saturday night. I think we were probably rolling in around 11:30 or midnight and we bumped into Pastor Scott, my boss in some ways, still working on his sermon for the following morning. At that point I headed upstairs and began making the visitor information cards I had promised to make, but due to some technology difficulties as well as lots of procrastination, I hadn't done it yet. In essence, it was perhaps a sign of things to come- I think Saturdays may turn into typical all nighters in my future career.

I delivered my first children's sermon today on the woman that touches Jesus's robe in the crowd and is healed instantly. I think it went well, but I'm not sure how engaged the kids were. I asked them some questions and they didn't really answer. I guess they could be shy too, and I am pretty tall and scary. Later tonight, one of the volunteers staying here told me he thought I had a gift- that it was a great children's sermon. I think this was really important for me to hear as I am constantly discerning how much what I am doing is for myself and how much it is to meet a deep need and fulfill God's purpose for me.

Ok tough theological question of the day- feel free to stop reading. Is the purpose of those disenfranchised in society to convey God to the world? In other words, are they almost a sacrifice so that we may see Her working (yes I'm trying to switch to Her as a pronoun for God as I'm learning that proper translations would have God be an It rather than a gender specific pronoun, yet It sounds cold so I choose Her to combat thousands of years of making God a man)? If there were no bad things happening to good people, would human beings need God? Would we simply praise without prayers of petition? But if there were only good and happiness we wouldn't know an alternative and therefore not know to be thankful for what we had. It reminds me of when my gender prof. said that if feminists got what we wanted, we would cease to exist, which is a scary thought for those of us who feel that is part of our life's calling. Therefore, I think there is comfort for those who are faithful in bad things happening to them. Without those events, there would be no room for the grace and mercy of God. While I certainly don't think this idea has enough magnitude to cover genocide or millions of babies starving or dying of AIDS, I do selfishly think that without Katrina, I would be lost in alot of ways. The loss of others has led to my fulfillment. But how do I tell them that and make them realize what a gift that can be?

Thanks for all the support thus far. Keep the letters and e-mails coming!

So I got an e-mail today from the teacher at Gulfport High who does community service stuff with the kids and she says she can't help us because they're already doing two other projects. Seriously? She can't just mention it to a couple of kids? Aside from that, alot more unanswered calls and e-mails.

There have also been some misunderstandings about program expectations and who is making decisions. I guess there was little to no communication in the summer about the program so separate visions and ideas were created. Now we're struggling to combine those ideas into something that's acceptable to the church funding us. I feel that I generally have a hard time letting go of control in these situations and may feel unnecessarily defensive.

I just found out that one of my roommates has made some contacts with some kids that may come to the program. Yay! Maybe we're on the right track?

In a larger sense of things, this Amish school shooting is really troubling me. I think the causes of it are a real testament to the messed up gender relations in our society. However, the forgiveness and grace demonstrated by these people can be such an example for us. I guess that's the good that's come of it.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day. I need to make 200 visitor information cards for church bulletins, but they need to be fed one by one and one side at a time AND there is only one computer hooked up to the printer AND that computer is also the only one hooked up to the scheduling system. I may be pulling an all nighter at some point.

I really need ideas for advertising if anyone's got them! More soon.

Today was tough. Time is running out on the deadline for our after-school program and we have no kids committed to either being in the program or volunteering to be mentors. Sigh. Worse, I feel like the community is just not really supportive. I feel like several locals have taken some small pleasure in the fact that I'm failing. Like when they ask and I have to admit no one's signed up, they say, "yeah I'm not surprised" as if I am asking kids to do something horrendous. I have made so many unreturned phone calls and written so many unresponsive to e-mails. Shouldn't they want to take agency in the rebuilding of their neighborhoods? Sigh. If high school teachers don't respond to e-mails or calls how else do I get to them?

On the plus side, we have multiple thousands of dollars and beautiful advertising materials (courtesy of Nickel Artistic!), as well as a bounce house and cotton candy machine reserved for our kick-off fair. These two things will make my day with or without kids especially since we have the bounce house from Saturday morning until Monday morning- yup definitely camping out in it.

But back to the negative. I have a hard time with common sense mistakes. For instance, when I contacted the Sun Herald today to find out why our ad hadn't been posted, they said they didn't know the date. When I referred back to my original e-mail (pasted below) I realized this was not the case.

Please post the following under the October 15 Free section.
Thanks!


Andy's Club Kick-Off Fair! Andy's Club, a new, free, arts and academic after-school program for 1st-5th graders is having a free Kick-Off Fair to learn about the program. Bring the whole family to enjoy the games, food, and fun! 3 to 5 pm at Handsboro Presbyterian Church 1304 E. Pass Road Gulfport. Sponsored by the Presbytery of Mississippi and St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church. Contact Brenna at 228-604-2424 for more information.

Also, why didn't she contact me when she didn't know the date? I mean if your whole job is doing the Gulfport What's Happening section, maybe you could make a bigger effort to know what's happening.

The worst sadness of the day came when I was canvassing the area churches to drop off informational post-cards. Although we are in the Bible belt and trip over a church every time we go outside, I only talked to two real live people in all the churches I stopped at. Here, at least is some good news. The one woman I talked to has a daughter that works at the local Christian radio station and says she bets they would give me an interview. While this will make me extremely uncomfortable as both a Presbyterian and Ms. Socially awkward, I will do it for the program and I guess make my Mama proud in the process.

Again, back to the negative. I couldn't believe how difficult it was to even find offices at most of the places. I don't understand how in an area so wrought with tragedy and devastation that a church wouldn't have someone there at all times. I was relieved for a second at the Catholic Church when I saw a chapel that was open all the time, theoretically. But you needed to know the code for the keypad to get in. I don't think Jesus should have a code and I don't think church should be a certain time. Are they afraid of people stealing if they kept the churches open? That idea then reminds me of the priest from Les Mis that catches Jean Val Jean (spelling?) stealing from him and basically says wait you missed the good stuff. With the rising homeless population here, aren't we called as people of faith to always be available and to share whatever we have? But I digress.

So I am now becoming a professional stalker. In the next two weekends I am attending a Gulfport High Football Game, High School Marching Band competition, High School play and a carwash. I'm also calling every youth group in the area tomorrow in the attempts to find volunteers. AND pounding the pavement putting postcards in every mailbox nearby. God will make this work...I think.

Now a funny story, if you have made it this far. I was searching out local community theaters after my roommate, Linda mentioned that she saw something about the Gulfport Little Theater. I did some researching and stumbled across the Gulfport Community Players. They had a great exciting website and so I e-mailed them right away offering to do whatever they needed, just because I felt like I was lacking that creative outlet and strangely missing a theatre community. I got an e-mail back right away saying yeah come by to rehearsal this week, we can use all the help we can get as it is about to get extremely busy what with tourist season and all. The "tourist" thing struck me as a little odd since everything touristy is knocked down here, but I guess there are some casinos and what not. In any case I made plans to attend rehearsal last night. We got back from a trip to Hattiesburg (sprung on us at the last minute) right at the time rehearsal was supposed to start.

I quickly tried to find directions and got very frustrated when mapquest wasn't working. I then looked at the map on their website and everything seemed fine- numbered streets really close to the ocean- so I started to pull back on the map looking for some familiar roads. When I pulled back far enough, the coast-line was not straight like that of Mississippi, but quite curved, like that of say, Florida. So yes I was invited to attend rehearsals nine hours away in Gulfport, FL. Sigh. I am not quite sure yet how I e-mail my new found friends back to tell them I'm an idiot. The good news is there IS a Gulfport Little Theatre, but it has a much less snazzy website. I'll call them tomorrow.

For my musical theatre friends out there, I'm currently listening to alot of Caroline or Change. My heart is singing its soundtrack.

Goodnight y'all! Say prayers that the children for my program will find me and that I will find them.

Welcome to my blog!

Where to start? For those of you new to my adventures, I'm living in MS for a year doing volunteer work. This blog is an attempt to keep everyone updated while also maintaining the essence of Brenna. Expect my usual sassy self.

Some things I am loving about Gulfport and my life:
The weather-its always warm!
The people- super friendly and thankful for our presence.
Food- Everything is spicy, just how like it and who knew fried shrimp was so delicious?
Football- Everyone loooves it. I hope you all saw that Saints/Falcons game.
My job- Creating an after-school program is proving to be just the challenge I was looking for.
My living situation- Fabulous roommates and I can feel free to express my faith on a daily basis. Great theological discussions.

Some cons:

The weather-Will it ever be cold? I miss my sweaters! Also have these people heard of opening windows? I swear all the energy of the world gets sucked to the air conditioners of Mississippi.
The people- Seriously you do not need my life story within the first five minutes of meeting me. Also, its apparently NOT acceptable that I roam around unescorted by a man. I've had several uncomfortable experiences due to that ideology.
Food- I unfortunately learned the hard way that the vein in a shrimp is really its poop chute. Yeah I'm done with uncleaned shrimp for a while.
Football- I'm trying hard, but I think if I have to watch another game I might scream, except aren't the Giants playing this weekend? Ok one more.
My Job- I'm not actually working with kids yet and I'm learning that in the South it takes a long time to get a call back.
My living situation- Our current situation allows for many strangers to walk through our space which is very uncomfortable for me. Also, my office is the next door down from my bedroom. I get very confused about when I'm working and when I'm not. I am also unfortunately a professional cockroach killer at this point.

The picture above is from our retreat to New Mexico. We got to meet all the Young Adult Volunteers (the program I'm working through) from across the country and see what they're up to. It was a great time for me to worship and meet lots of other kids who are both liberal and religious. We did lots of hiking, although I freaked out on the really big trail, and had an awesome bonfire the last night. At said bonfire, I was quite proud of the way I knew the words to all the "classics" such as Free Bird, Hotel California and House of the Rising Sun, but then equally shamed when I didn't know any of the christian songs. Oh well, those along with, sadly, many books of the bible, I am determined to get to know better.

Say prayers or think happy thoughts for me, more to come soon!