Why I hate New Year's, specifically this one.

Here is what was supposed to happen today or yesterday really. Fly from Newark to Atlanta then Atlanta to Gulfport in plenty of time to rest up before a chill New Year's with roomies, etc.

Now if you've ever talked to me about this wretched holiday, you know I'm not a fan. I feel like there is always too much pressure to have some mind blowing amazing time for a day that is completely arbitrary. I mean New Year's could be celebrated at any time. Still, I was looking forward to this one because it seemed relatively low pressure.

So here's what actually happened today. My flight that was supposed to leave Newark at 2:11 didn't leave until after 3. This worried me since I only had 40 minutes to change planes in Atlanta. I hoped that we would gain time in the air or that my second flight would be delayed as well since there was tons of rain in the south today. Of course this was not the case.

I got to Atlanta and found out that not only had I missed my flight but there were no more possibilities until tomorrow. Then I had to find a hotel. Contrary to popular belief, AirTran did not offer to pay for my room they only offer a number to call for very reduced rates. For a moment I got a little excited thinking I could get a room in downtown Atl. since I've never been here, but of course the only rooms are on the outskirts of town close to the airport.

So after waiting in the rain for 25 minutes I got on a shuttle to the DoubleTree. My spirits were briefly lifted again by all the jovial airline people on my shuttle. I thought maybe they would invite me to hang out with them- sadly not the case as they stick to their own little airline club and I don't know the secret handshake. Ah well, at least there's the lounge at the hotel right?

No. Nothing at the hotel was open tonight so I got pizza delivered. Things have started breaking down here though. I don't know if I got a "reduced" rate room but I don't have movies when it says I should, the phone just beeps at me so I can't call the front desk, the coffee maker is on the fritz, the toilet is backing up and the ice machine down the hall isn't working either. Aside from that it's quite comfortable.

Furthermore, I made the quick decision at the airport to leave my bags there so now I'm in dirty clothes and missing some essential toiletries.

Despite all this, I'm trying not to get down. I know some people in the hospital tonight or who are working which are much worse situations than mine.

On a lighter note, I promised a BBQ blog. Two weeks ago we stopped at a place called Dick Russell's (I think). Very kitchy with animal heads and stuff on the walls. I've been trying to publish pictures on here but for some reason (because nothing works here) they're not coming up or they'll end up ten times. Anyway, we had a huge plate of butter given to us there, about 8 little cups full. Before we had dug into it, the waitress asked us if we needed more. We said we were all set. Then she asked if we needed more BBQ sauce. Normally this is an automatic yes for me but since I could barely find my pork in the sauce I said I was all set with that too. Hmmm...I wonder how MS got to be the most overweight state?

Overall, not great. I'm looking for more authentic less processed BBQ while I'm here in the South.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had more fun than me.

"It was...soap poisoning!"

Bonus points to anyone who knows what movie that quote is from.

I've been home now for a very busy week. Being home is not as strange as I thought it would be. I easily fell right back into a routine. I think I've managed to see everyone I've ever known sometime this week, which is great but hasn't left much time for personal things. I'm a little worried about all the work ahead when I go back to MS.

Sunday was a great day. At church I gave a presentation on all the work I've been doing this year in an attempt to solicit some donations. I think people were moved over all, I just hope they stay motivated to help.

Tuesday night I had a brief interview with the Session of our church. This is more of a formality than anything, but good practice for me in terms of discussing my faith and calling. In the PC(USA), this is one small step of many on the road to becoming ordained. Still, I'm trying to look at it positively instead of feeling overwhelmed.

But...I am really feeling overwhelmed. There's alot of work ahead, and I'm worried about not remaining completely present while working in MS. For instance, I might become more concerned about applying for scholarships or planning some meetings I have to take care of up here or starting seminary. I'm praying that I'll be able to manage all of this.

In my next post, I want to talk about an awesome BBQ experience we had last week. I have pictures! I just can't seem to get everything working together at the same time.

Lastly, I'm missing MS and my roommates more than I thought I would (they will love to hear this). Not that I thought I wouldn't miss them at all, but I'm just realizing the comfort of a group of people all being on the same page and as much as I sometimes hate that everyone knows everyone else's business, its relieving in a way. There's less explanation needed.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Caroling in Flip Flops

Yesterday I did the craziest thing ever...I went caroling in flip-flops! Its been averaging a balmy 70 to 75 here for the past couple of days so I needed nothing more than a sweater when I went out with Westminster Presbyterian Church last night. We had a very fun time. Luckily my roommate, Sarah Ann went with me because I don't really know a ton of people there, except for kids in the youth group. This can be a challenge for me although I'm getting much better at sticking my hand out to people and saying, "Hi, I'm Brenna." I think this is the way to be friendly here and its not seen as pushy which is how I feel. Anyway, the few of us that are transplants here kept saying how weird it felt to not be caroling in ten layers and begging people for warm drinks. I think I could get used to the warmth though.

Saturday Linda M. and I went to NOLA for a day of shopping on Magazine St. This was a much needed "city" day for me. The weather was awesome and Magazine St. is nice because its not super touristy like Bourbon St. We had lunch at a fabulous Mexican Restaurant called Nacho Mama (what do you call a Mama that's not yours?) with our friends who live in NOLA (see picture above.) We sat outside and drank margaritas. Who could ask for anything better?

Friday night we went to a movie with our bosses. This was good for 3 reasons. 1. The movie was really good. We saw The Pursuit of Happyness and I recommend it to everyone. It was a very good comment on poverty and homelessness and I think was well done in terms of bringing different audiences together. Our theater was probably the most diverse audience I've ever seen.
2. We got to spend time with our bosses outside of work which doesn't happen often. I hope it was a good break for them too.
3. They Paid! For snacks too!

I'm currently struggling with what to tell my congregation when I come home. There's a part of me that wants to be very chipper and share all the places I've seen God (houses being built, lives being changed, etc.). There's also a part of me that wants to be very political and show all the work that needs to be done. This is hard because unless you're here its very difficult to hear all the bad things. I'm praying for wise and moving words.

Here's a funny story. On Friday morning, my roommate, Erin, noticed my tire was low. We set off on a quest to get it fixed and ended up at the tire center at Wal-Mart, as much as this pained me and it hurts to give money to that organization. It was ok though because we were able to get some Christmas shopping done for our bosses at the same time. The funny part though was the woman (yes, woman) processing orders. She had on tight jeans and what looked like a little kid's shirt with a pearl necklace! Who wears a pearl necklace to work at the tire center at Wal-Mart? I just don't get it.

Obviously, as we move through advent, I'm trying to be expectant and hopeful of change here and throughout the world, especially in places of war. I'm trying to see where the light is shining in the darkest of places...hopefully its shining in me.

3 more wake-ups Mommy!

Moonshine Bust in Hancock County

This was the headline of the local paper two days ago. You'll be happy to know I live in Harrison county, the next county over- much classier. Apparently this guy was distilling whiskey in his backyard at like 90 proof or something crazy like that.

Anyway, I have been SUPER busy this week. Last weekend I helped out at Westminster Presbyterian Church with their youth group. WPC is much bigger and much more active than Handsboro than where I've been living and I've been helping out a little when I can. They did a youth led service this weekend which was interesting for me. I think it was an early glimpse of what the life of a pastor can be like because I didn't really feel like I got to worship since I knew what was coming and was intent on things running right. Hmm...

On Sunday I went to my first African-American Baptist service. It was a music special and I went to see one of the kids in Andy's Club. For those who don't understand why this would be such a big deal to me, there is generally no clapping in a traditional presbyterian service nor is there a lot of emotion. I wasn't really uncomfortable though but I started to understand why if that's where you come from, a Presbyterian service could be just as awkward feeling. For me it was great fun though!

We sadly lost one of our team mates this week. My co-worker D left his post at Orange Grove on Monday. We're all praying that this will be the right decision for him and that he'll be able to work out whatever he needs to. For those of you on the outside, there's no easy way to explain how subtely draining this work is to all of us and so if you're at all dealing with anything else it can be really hard.

Yesterday was the most chaotic holiday kids party ever. We had ribs and shrimp and running around. It was awesome and there was new kids but I'm exhausted today.

In ordination news, I'm beginning to understand the hoops of fire I must jump through to become a pastor. I have an interview with session when I come home and another with the Presbytery later in the year. Can you feel my anxiety?

Ok I need to run, I want to write more but no time. Send me love and Christmas cards!

One more thing...

I just found this link on my roommie Erin's blog. Its for the Boys and Girls Club down here and expresses alot of what the people are going through. I'll say what Erin said on her blog which is I don't in any way work for this organization but it is a great account of what's happening here for those of you far away.

http://www.bgcgulfcoast.org/index.asp

She's Got Style, She's Got Grace, She's a Winner

So I think I jinxed myself in the last blog by saying how much I was enjoying working with the kids. I definitely didn't this week. I was alone on Tuesday with no help and found out that one kid has been lying to me, his grandma, and his teacher about homework. So we're working on that. Being somewhat of a nerdy kid in my day, I don't understand how it takes 45 minutes to copy 5 definitions. He's definitely not incapable since he gets A's on tests, he just can't do that sort of thing, I think he's too creative (his teacher said lazy, which I think is harsh especially since her homework is boring and uncreative). In all these conversations I'm constantly affirming myself that I'm capable because I do not like making these sorts of calls. I feel like the teacher would just be like "who's this kid to ask me about my work?"

A really amazing thing happened on Wednesday this week. I went to have a meeting with Pastor Scott. Here's basically what happened:

B: "Scott, I'm thinking Andy's Club would be too intense to carry on with in the summer. I was thinking vaguely about Vacation Bible School. What do you think?"

PS: "Well, its funny you should mention that. There was a church here in the summer from Iowa that wanted to basically do a VBS for us- write curriculum, send people, the whole deal. But I haven't talked to the guy in a couple months so I don't know what their plans are."

B: "Ok do you have contact info for the pastor?"

Following this there was 5 minutes of Scott looking in drawers and explaining why he didn't have his palm pilot on him.

B: "I'm sure we could just look it up online."

S: "Ok, yeah." He starts looking, finds it, starts reading it to me when his phone rings.

S: "Hello?...Hey!! This is so funny because I have a young woman sitting here who wants to do a VBS and I was telling her about you guys...are you still feeling that way?..." This goes on for a while, he gets dates of the program including when we would need to fly there for an interview. "Ok so all we need to do is get kids and the space ready?...Sounds great...Ok bye. Brenna, were you taking notes?"

Of course I was. This is very exciting since its the first time this church has had anything like that and the first time I'm doing anything close to VBS. Also, its one of the first times something here has been created that easily. God said let there be VBS and it was so.

Its come to my attention that I have people reading the blog that I didn't know were aware of it. I'm going to try to keep it "Style a la Brenna" but I may have to edit some of the crazy.

Also, I am full on MAD about the weather here. Its going to be in the 20s tonight. NOT OK. I guess it won't be as much of a shock to my system when I come home in two weeks.

Lots of love!
B

17 Days and Counting...

As things get increasingly stressful here, I feel like all I can do is hold on to that number which brings me closer and closer to home. A brief list:

-Last week we were told there was no chance of us getting internet where we live since they're moving the office there.

-We found out we're moving. I think this is ultimately good but moving is on my top five most stressful things list. Also, we don't know where we're moving, hopefully close by but that's not for sure.

-Two of my roommates have talked about leaving. This is NOT good.

-There is still no heat upstairs in our cinderblock uninsulated rooms and we are relying on tons of blankets and one small spaceheater. If any of you know me, you know I would always rather be hot and in general abhor the cold, hence the move to MS which is not turning out how I expected since this weekend it was 20 degrees warmer at home than it was here. Sigh.

- I've realized my weakness in community living. I remember Lauren calling me a "Lone Wolf" once and I'm finding that to be very true. I like making decisions independently and don't need everyone to know all my business and don't feel a need to know theirs. This wouldn't be stressful if not for the fact that I'm not sure that this fits a pastor's life. I guess what it comes down to is I don't mind listening to people's problems if it doesn't directly concern me? I'm not sure. I need to work on this some more.

- I'm getting involved a ton with the community theatre here. I will be the Assistant to the Directors (not to be confused with Assistant Director for those of you that watch The Office) for the spring kids show. This required a meeting though last week where we heard alot of trepidation over doing the show Godspell with kids. Some are afraid it would be offensive or misunderstood or whatever and they wouldn't get the usual sell-out crowds. Despite my protests of separating art from content and acknowledging that kids can be challenged and don't always need "cutesy", we're changing the show probably to Fiddler on the Roof. I know, not at all cutesy or uncontroversal and extremely uncomfortable since I don't know what the Judaic knowledge is here, but luckily there are probably no Jewish people in Gulfport to protest.

-Also, because I am "in" now so to speak with the BigWigs at the theatre, I'm hearing rumors that the show I'm in, "Guys and Dolls" might be canceled because we don't have enough men or a vocal director. This makes me really sad partly because I really wanted to do it and partly because there's already been so much time put into it.

Despite these things, I'm having some amazing God breakthroughs, mostly in my surprise relationships with other people. This weekend we went on a retreat in northern MS. Part of the time was spent in silence. So I thought, ok here we go some good one-on-one time with God, but then nothing very special happened. I thought, "Ok I am silence-defective and will be the worst minister in the world." After though, my friend, Sue and I had a great one-on-one about some things we had been struggling with (this I definitely didn't mind so maybe I'm not so Lone Wolf? I can't tell). In this, we swapped nephew stories. She's had an eerily similar situation to my Owen story and it was really good to talk about that with someone who had been in the same spot. Here is where I felt God, in the way someone could open up to me and I to them. It was great.

I'm also feeling blessed to be in the presence of Tony and Claire, a retired couple volunteering here for a couple months. They are HILARIOUS and very warm, loving people. Claire's been a big help at Andy's Club and I don't know what I'll do when they leave.

Then there's my kids. I think they are really pulling me through right now. I really look forward to every day we have program and would like to think the kids are making strides. One child, Khalil who gave me some trouble at the beginning can be kept happily occupied by projects that require building or arranging. So last week I told him to organize the little closet room we use to house our stuff. After about an hour he makes an announcement and pulls me over to the closed door, makes me close my eyes, then opens the door with a big smile. And the room looked great! Much better than if I had done it myself. I hope this gives him something to be proud of.

In the spirit of Christmas, I've been thinking alot of the shepherds blindly following the star. I feel sort of like that. I can see the hill in front of me, but not what's beyond it.

Lots of love.