I know you can be overwhelmed and I know you can be underwhelmed but can you just be whelmed?

I am definitely overwhelmed. Since getting back to MS on Saturday night I feel like I have done nothing but stress over what I missed. I couldn't sleep last night thinking about everything so I spent the hour from 1 to 2am writing everything down. That helped. I've made some stupid mistakes though in the past few days that don't help the anxiety level. For instance I left my phone charger at home and I realized upon arriving at the airport on Sat. that I had booked my ticket for the wrong date and had to pay another $150 to switch it. I truly hated myself at that moment.

I am in general enjoying being back although still worried about things at home. This is probably the homiest someplace has felt outside of home in a while, which is weird since it took so long to get to that point.

And, its sooooo warm and delightful here.

Also, this happened in the row in front of me on the plane:

Man A: (to Man B who he doesn't know) Wow so we're going to fly right over Gulfport and see all the Katrina damage huh?

Man B: Yeah, we lost our house in the storm and had to move to Michigan.

Man A: Oh.

So apparently the outside world is starting to see this as some sort of tourist attraction, like flying over the great wall or the pyramids or something. This hurts my feelings.

My home church has really outdone themselves. They are supporting my ministries left and right and supporting my family as well. Keep it up guys!

I felt really good about one thing this weekend. I schooled our Oscar pool/ballot/vote/competition thing last night. And for my efforts, I am now the proud owner of an owl stuffie. What is an owl stuffie I hear you ask. I'll leave it to your imagination. All you need to know is that its awesome.

In theology land, I've been thinking alot about offerings and how I can relate old school Bible sacrifices to my own life and incorporate that into the pieces of the service I'm working on for upcoming weeks. I used to think of Old Testament offerings, like goats, sort of wasteful and cruel. This may be something that's obvious to everyone else, but as I'm in the middle of alot of OT study, it occurs to me how big a gift animals were. They provided food, clothing and more animals, and yet were given freely. I feel like those sacrifices were equivalent to a farmer burning some of his land or anyone burning money. There is so much trust in that offering- a belief that God will take care of us with or without our earthly possessions. Furthermore, in the spirit of Lent, i think I want to try to really focus on giving gifts and sacrifices which are hard to be without and which maybe took some doing to get in the first place.

God's grace and peace

Rough Days

Some of you may have heard that I've been home this week. Last week my Dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer. We had a few very scary days as we waited on procedures and test results. Fortunately, the cancer hasn't spread at all. Unfortunately, the cancer is very aggressive and my Dad will need to have his bladder removed. Please pray for us as we figure out what this means for both the immediate and long-term future.

In the mean time, I'm staying home another week unexpectedly. I've had alot of assurrance that my presence is needed here at this time especially with the surgery coming up next week. I'm just trying to let go of some things back in Mississippi and trusting that God will let everything there stay in tact while I'm gone.

I was glad to sit and watch the snow yesterday from inside the warmth and comfort of my house. Going out in it today was NOT fun though. I remembered why I hate the cold and how annoying the snow can be (for example it took us about 15 minutes to get the car cleared off...ugh!).

I had a good talk today with our new Pastor, Jen. She seems really eager to help me through my seminary process. I've been really blessed by people who seem to know the ins and outs there well. This is good as I feel that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Anyway...

Feeling strange...

Brenna

Feels like home to me

I've had a busy few days. Friday was moving day. As expected, I was at my crankiest. I don't know why, but moving always brings out the worst in me. Luckily things went pretty smoothly that day. It didn't take too many trips and we had alot of help. Our coordinators made sure everything was ready to go, Sally-Lodge quietly walked around and hung our shades and set up lamps and Rebecca, the pastor's wife, (although I hate that term because she is my friend and is her own person) had dinner ready for us, a delicious chicken pot-pie which I've had before and was hoping she would make again.

Saturday was a bit rougher. We had some miscommunication and misinformation about cleaning and how soon the volunteers would be moving into our former rooms, which was apparrently about 5 minutes after we left. So then we ran to the church to try to clean AROUND the very needy volunteers.

That night I went to see one of the kids I've been working with at Gulfport Little Theater in a show at another venue. Well I had yet another North-Eastern anxiety attack. I got there at 6:15 for a 7pm show. The family in front of me got the last tickets which was briefly disappointing until they said they might release more seats closer to the start of the show. Great, I thought, I'll be the first on the list- only there was no list. I just had to hover for 45 minutes telling everyone that came by that I was the first one after the people who got the last tickets, and internally berating myself for not getting tickets ahead of time. I did eventually get in, but I was not a pleasant person by that time. The kid I went to see was really great, definitely the best in the show. I was also adament to support him because his dad had died quite suddenly the week before and I wanted him to feel comfortable performing. He's really great and quickly turning into one of my favorite kids.

On Sunday, I performed (this is probably not the right word) the Call to Worship at both the Orange Grove and Handsboro services. I think it went well. I was surprised at how well I put on a different face to preach. I also felt good about what I wrote and that it was defintely from me. The children's sermon at Handsboro was a little rougher but there were brownies so I think the kids were happy.

The only tragedy in this day was that I spilled coffee on myself in between services, so I had to go home and change really quick. I felt like Cher needing to have a different costume for the second service. I am ridiculous and I think God is telling me to curb my caffeine addiction.

We watched the SuperBowl outside at another nearby church. It was a little cold, but I staked out a seat early on next to the fire. I was sad to see the Bears lose, but enjoyed the commercials overall.

In general, I'm loving the new place. I've managed to have some relaxing naps and be able to have my coffee in the morning in peace and quiet.

Also, today I've been reminded by two separate people that I'm doing a really great thing here. I'm trying to focus on that and not get upset with trivial things. Hmmm...I feel like I've said that before.