Diamonds on the soles of her shoes

Alot has happened this past week. As I try to get back into the working spirit, I've also been forced to take a long, hard look at my life. For instance, I had to finish my financial aid forms for Princeton this week and there is a box which basically says, "So when we come right down to it, what are you worth?" I had to force the tears back as I wrote down $500. That's it. That's all I'm worth. On the one hand this is pathetic. I mean here I am with talents and a degree and I essentially have nothing except a bunch of DVDs and some fabulous shoes. However, as the week went on, I began to feel like maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

On Saturday, my roomie Erin and I did a "double feature" at the movies (this means we stuck it to the man by sneaking into a second movie without paying for it. I am not ashamed.) The first movie was Dreamgirls, the second was Blood Diamond. Both were really great and strangely had some similar messages most notably, how far are we willing to go, how many people are we willing to screw over in order to get some trivial material items like an outrageous house or a shiny rock?

Blood Diamond was especially political and begged the question, ok so what are YOU gonna do? For this I refer to a play I saw while I was home called the Vertical Hour with Julianne Moore. In it she played a professor of politics who had given up a life of journalism in crazy areas like Bosnia and Iraq in order to pursue a safer path of education. She struggles with the concept of not being ignorant, of knowing full well what's happening in the world and yet being a slave to Western demands just like the rest of us. The play basically asked how we can reconcile our need for change and peace with our need for comfort and safety?

Now back to my $500. While that $500 still puts me in a higher place than most people in the world, I feel better knowing that its all come from doing good. I am not cheating third world peoples out of a living wage or making an obscene amount more than the women or people of color in some company. Yet I know that the clothes I wear and food I eat may be hurting others and as much as I know about world situations I cannot give up my fancy shoes. God tells us She will provide everything we need so why can't I throw it all out and live in a hut filled only with family and whatever we're eating that day? How can I get these thoughts to stay in my head for more than a fleeting moment?

Ok, now for an awkward transition into nuts and bolts of what happened this week.

Guys and Dolls has officially been axed. Cancel your flights and front row seats, Brenna will not be performing in Gulfport. This is only mildly disappointing to me since I was becoming worried about the time commitment anyway, but I feel really bad for others who put tons of time into it. However, I'm still helping out with their kids' stuff which has been really fun and generally, I prefer this to performing anyway.

We have new kids at Andy's Club that are intense. They're great but all related so they feel comfortable with each other which means fine with punching and making fun of each other. I just feel like God was like ok you learned how to handle this lot so here's a bunch that you won't be able to handle. On top of that, my volunteer hunt is slow.

I had a great day trip with Sally-Lodge this week to the lovely, exotic Citronelle, Alabama. Her husband's company has purchased an old hotel there where they will live when in AL since most are far away. Well, Sally-Lodge and I got all girlie and were planning our grand schemes for this little hotel. I, being quite tall, was also instrumental in the removal of tons and tons of kitchy silk flowers ordaining the tacky mirrors and wall hangings in the front hall way. It was truly ministerial mentoring at its best.

Oh! Also I got a free awesome haircut this week from Heather who was here on a team from Linda's home church. I have fancy bangs and layers now. I'll try to get a picture up when I can.

Lots of love!
B