17 Days and Counting...

As things get increasingly stressful here, I feel like all I can do is hold on to that number which brings me closer and closer to home. A brief list:

-Last week we were told there was no chance of us getting internet where we live since they're moving the office there.

-We found out we're moving. I think this is ultimately good but moving is on my top five most stressful things list. Also, we don't know where we're moving, hopefully close by but that's not for sure.

-Two of my roommates have talked about leaving. This is NOT good.

-There is still no heat upstairs in our cinderblock uninsulated rooms and we are relying on tons of blankets and one small spaceheater. If any of you know me, you know I would always rather be hot and in general abhor the cold, hence the move to MS which is not turning out how I expected since this weekend it was 20 degrees warmer at home than it was here. Sigh.

- I've realized my weakness in community living. I remember Lauren calling me a "Lone Wolf" once and I'm finding that to be very true. I like making decisions independently and don't need everyone to know all my business and don't feel a need to know theirs. This wouldn't be stressful if not for the fact that I'm not sure that this fits a pastor's life. I guess what it comes down to is I don't mind listening to people's problems if it doesn't directly concern me? I'm not sure. I need to work on this some more.

- I'm getting involved a ton with the community theatre here. I will be the Assistant to the Directors (not to be confused with Assistant Director for those of you that watch The Office) for the spring kids show. This required a meeting though last week where we heard alot of trepidation over doing the show Godspell with kids. Some are afraid it would be offensive or misunderstood or whatever and they wouldn't get the usual sell-out crowds. Despite my protests of separating art from content and acknowledging that kids can be challenged and don't always need "cutesy", we're changing the show probably to Fiddler on the Roof. I know, not at all cutesy or uncontroversal and extremely uncomfortable since I don't know what the Judaic knowledge is here, but luckily there are probably no Jewish people in Gulfport to protest.

-Also, because I am "in" now so to speak with the BigWigs at the theatre, I'm hearing rumors that the show I'm in, "Guys and Dolls" might be canceled because we don't have enough men or a vocal director. This makes me really sad partly because I really wanted to do it and partly because there's already been so much time put into it.

Despite these things, I'm having some amazing God breakthroughs, mostly in my surprise relationships with other people. This weekend we went on a retreat in northern MS. Part of the time was spent in silence. So I thought, ok here we go some good one-on-one time with God, but then nothing very special happened. I thought, "Ok I am silence-defective and will be the worst minister in the world." After though, my friend, Sue and I had a great one-on-one about some things we had been struggling with (this I definitely didn't mind so maybe I'm not so Lone Wolf? I can't tell). In this, we swapped nephew stories. She's had an eerily similar situation to my Owen story and it was really good to talk about that with someone who had been in the same spot. Here is where I felt God, in the way someone could open up to me and I to them. It was great.

I'm also feeling blessed to be in the presence of Tony and Claire, a retired couple volunteering here for a couple months. They are HILARIOUS and very warm, loving people. Claire's been a big help at Andy's Club and I don't know what I'll do when they leave.

Then there's my kids. I think they are really pulling me through right now. I really look forward to every day we have program and would like to think the kids are making strides. One child, Khalil who gave me some trouble at the beginning can be kept happily occupied by projects that require building or arranging. So last week I told him to organize the little closet room we use to house our stuff. After about an hour he makes an announcement and pulls me over to the closed door, makes me close my eyes, then opens the door with a big smile. And the room looked great! Much better than if I had done it myself. I hope this gives him something to be proud of.

In the spirit of Christmas, I've been thinking alot of the shepherds blindly following the star. I feel sort of like that. I can see the hill in front of me, but not what's beyond it.

Lots of love.